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Take My Father...Please!

How To Survive
Caring For Aging Parents

by Jacqueline Marcell
Eldercare / Alzheimer's Speaker, Author, Radio Host, Caregiver Advocate


"It's like fiction or a made-for-TV movie, filled with despair and deception, then resolution and redemption, leavened by doses of humor."
- AARP BULLETIN, by Susan L. Crowley, 5 page cover story delivered to 22 million households

"She writes with a great deal of compassion and reality. Down to earth and honest, but also able to give much in the way of concrete help and advice for a variety of situations. Highly recommend this book to anyone caring for elderly parents now or in the future."
- Marian Eure, About's Guide to Senior Health

"Wonderful story! Congratulations for having the courage to go through this, and the ability to express it so beautifully. Anyone with aging parents will want to read this heart-warming book."
- JoAnn Padgett, Editor, Advantage Publishers Group

"Marcell's lively tale is told in 16 chapters with intriguing titles, such as 'Honey, I Blew Up the House.' Along the way, she conveys a considerable amount of insight and practical information."
- Aging Today, Caring Books

"Remarkable book! You have charted a relatively untrod field associated with the aging process. You deserve a great credit, congratulations!"
- Steve Allen, Television Personality

"Many family practitioners are not up on the problems of dealing with the elderly and could benefit from reading this. I highly recommend it!"
- Pat Ashley, Alzheimer Resource Center

"A real lifeline for people affected by dementia and their caregivers, full of helpful suggestions and useful information."
- Daniel G. Amen, MD, Amen Clinics, Newport Beach, CA

"Jacqueline's persistence and grace in the face of overwhelming obstacles is incredible. Delightfully written with wit and compassion, this firsthand drama is a primer for anyone with aging parents."
- Ed Asner, Actor

"I recommend this book to everyone. Jacqueline incorporates humor into a devastating situation and gives valuable information on eldercare."
- Rosemarie Wheeler, RN, Association of PeriOperative RN's

"Instantly engaging and readable account of dealing with an elderly parent with dementia. Through example and experience, Marcell imparts practical information/advice for carers."
- Dr. Brendan Hyland, Psychiatrist, Australasian Journal on Ageing, Albert Road Clinic, Melbourne, Australia

"As someone who has been through a similar journey with my own mother (for thirty-five years of dementia), I can relate to the sacrifice and reward, the horror and humor, and the evolution and eventual acceptance of circumstances that Jacqueline has gone through."
- Jacqueline Bisset, Actress

"Jacqueline has written a powerful and poignant story about family devastation of dementia. This is a must-read for caregivers!"
- Harold H. Bloomfield, MD, Author, “Making Peace With Your Parents”, “Making Peace With Your Past”

"Jacqueline is red hot and right on target. Take this interview... please!"
- Jim Bohannon, Westwood One Radio

"Methinks you have a blockbuster on your hands. You deserve an award for producing this wonderful book—it's going to help so many people!"
- Irwin Zucker, Book Publicists of Southern CA

"I wish I'd known about this book when I needed it, both for its wise advice and brave good humor."
- Larry Shapiro, Editor-in-Chief Doubleday Book-of-the-Month Club

"Thanks for a delightful and heart-warming book!"
- Ernest Borgnine, Actor

"This powerful and rewarding daughter's story illustrates that it's never too late to conquer family secrets. Anyone struggling to manage an elderly loved one will be grateful for this heart-warming book."
- John Bradshaw, Author, “Bradshaw: On the Family”, “Family Secrets”, “Homecoming”, “Healing the Shame That Binds You”

"My parents are approaching their 80's, so I can relate so well to the problems of dementia. Your warmth, humor and courage in tackling this sensitive topic speaks volumes for your strength and character."
- Erin Brockovich, Activist

"An example of courage, strength, perseverance and love--a must read!"
- Denise Brown, Nicole Brown Charitable Foundation

"I recommend this book to nurses who care for older patients, and to all who care for older loved ones. The story entertains while teaching, and is as riveting as a good novel."
- Kathy Carder, California Nurse Newsletter

"It's a book you'll want to share with your parents and your brothers and sisters. You'll find some parts humorous, as long as it does not happen in your family! And you'll find plenty of practical advice in case it does."
- Terry Savage, Chicago Sun-Times Syndicated Columnist

"This sharing of a caregiving experience, which reflects self discovery and perseverance in creativity, is a welcome addition to the shared journeys of adult children caring for aging parents."
- Brian M. Duke, President, Children of Aging Parents

"A poignant, humorous and entertaining roller coaster ride, laden with valuable and practical advice. Having survived being raised in a home shared by a demented grandmother, my hat is off to you. You should be canonized, my dear!"
- Pam Dawber, Actress

"Fascinating! Once you open you won't be able to close, until you finish."
- Fred de Cordova, Producer, Tonight Show with Johnny Carson

"Our family lived with an aging parent, but when she needed hourly attention we had to put her in a nursing home. She died a few weeks later. I wish Jacqueline had been spreading her gospel then."
- Gib Twyman, Deseret News, Salt Lake City, Utah

"There's nothing like a real life story by someone who's been there, done that. This is a gripping true story that will make you cry and laugh."
- Phyllis Diller, Comedian

"Jacqueline's story and style of writing will surely grab a large readership. Studded with flashes of humor, it demonstrates the enormous resourcefulness and resilience of the human spirit."
- Hugh Downs, former host of '20/20' with Barbara Walters

"Jacqueline's journey illustrates the power of wit, humor, and loving persistence that will keep you on the edge of your seat. You will laugh, you will cry, and you will never forget this daughter's story."
- Lisa P. Gwyther, MSW, Duke University Center for Aging

"As Frank McCourt did so poignantly in his bestseller ‘Angela's Ashes’, so too has Jacqueline captured in ‘Elder Rage’. Both experienced tragedies, yet kept their sanity with humor. As an elderly father, I would like to feel there is someone as special in my family to play the role of caregiver with tough love and compassion as Jacqueline has done so avidly."
- Jerry Dunphy, Newscaster, KCAL 9, Los Angeles

"Baby Boomers listen up! With all the breakthroughs in medicine, you may find yourself caring for your parents for more years than they cared for you. ‘Elder Rage’ shows you how to be an effective caregiver without ruining your own life in the process."
- Ken Dychtwald, Ph.D., Author, “Age Wave” and “Age Power: How The 21st Century Will Be Ruled By The New Old”

"Jacqueline tackles part of life most think will never happen, and shocks us out of denial with what it can really be like dealing with the personality and diseases of our elders."
- Dr. Dean Edell, MD, Host, Dr. Dean Radio Show

"Poignant yet often funny story of how difficult it is to find appropriate geriatric care, and how important it is for medical professionals to listen to family caregivers and connect them to appropriate services."
- Family Caregiver Alliance

"It gives me great pleasure to join the National Association of Women Business Owners of Orange County in congratulating you for being honored as Advocate of the Year. Your leadership and service makes you truly deserving of this distinguished recognition. In sharing the knowledge you have gained from your difficult experiences, you have provided insight that will make a profound difference in the lives of many. This award attests to your outstanding integrity and work ethic. Please know that your exceptional dedication and commitment is valuable beyond measure, and serves as an exemplary model for others."
- Dianne Feinstein, United States Senator

"I found Jacqueline's style of writing delightfully refreshing. It's a direct result of someone taking life's lemons and making lemonade. Especially unique is its carefully chosen and skillfully selected symbolism and metaphors. A wonderful gift for a caregiver!"
- Anita Martin, Fifty Plus Lifestyles

"Rarely does a book merit the interest of everyone age fifty-something and their children. I couldn't lay it down and neither will you. True to the adage that laughter does a body good, Marcell softens sorrow with humor that will keep you chuckling into the night. Woven into this heart-warming account are tips that alone are well-worth the price."
- Bob DeBuhr, Caregiver's Corner, FiftySomething Magazine

"A fascinating look at human behavior that illustrates the success of a daughter's devoted persistence. Written with wit, compassion and integrity that you'll never forget."
- Betty Friedan, Lecturer, Author, “The Feminine Mystique”, “It Changed My Life”, “The Fountain of Age”, “Life So Far”

"Jacqueline's heart-warming account of the love she gives her parents touched my heart. This is must-reading for the Baby Boomers."
- Leeza Gibbons, Television Personality

"It's rare to read a book on caring for elderly parents that actually makes you laugh. That's the miracle of Elder Rage, it's filled with laughter and love. A page-turner you won't want to put down, a very special book."
- Toni Grant, Psychologist, The Dr. Toni Grant radio program

"This devoted daughter's amazing journey will give you the skills and strength to manage your own elders with humor and grace."
- Dr. John Gray, “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus”

"Most Boomers will spend more time and money on eldercare than child care. This great insightful book will help you know you are not alone."
- Mark Victor Hansen, Co-creator #1 New York Times Best-selling:“Chicken Soup for the Soul”® Series

"What a contribution--a true story told with compassion and humor!"
- Julie Harris, Actress

"Jacqueline has been there, done that, and now helps others with caring for their elders. She is so upbeat, a real professional on all accounts."
- Heloise, 'Hints from Heloise' Columnist

"I have consulted families with aging issues for over 25 years and the problem of anger in dementia is one of the toughest. Jacqueline's story is a valuable resource offering guidance and inspiration."
- John W. Gibson, DSW, MSW, MS, Institute For Successful Aging

"Anyone caring for a difficult elder will be comforted as they read about the case of rage that the author survived. Their unexpected emotions will be understood and validated."
- Lee Ann Johnson, Wayne State University, MI

"Jacqueline's ingenuity and understanding will inspire and comfort anyone dealing with a parent's not-so-gentle decline. This true story of one of the ultimate family struggles will help everyone grow in emotional depth."
- Barry Gordon, MD, Ph.D., Director, Memory Clinic, Johns Hopkins Medical Institutions, Baltimore, Maryland

"Those with aging parents need to take stock of their situation so they can help them before it's too late. Jacqueline has shown you the way."
- Dr. Paul Yutsis, MD, Journal of Longevity

"In addition to being a riveting story, it's punctuated by wit, humor, and an easy-to-read style. A valuable text, not only for the lay public, but for physicians, psychologists, neurologists, and psychiatrists."
- Elliot S. Eisenberg, MD, Kaiser Permanente Journal

"The reader will feel privileged to experience the challenges and eventual gratifying solutions that Jacqueline presents in this poignant narrative. Her courage, sensitive insights and excellent writing style offers adult children a lifeline of hope and positive expectations."
- Irene C. Kassorla, Ph.D., Best-selling Author

"Jacqueline's humor and wit turn the most difficult life experiences into an inspiring message of hope--a great book for everyone!!"
- Lainie Kazan, Actress

"At some point in our lives we will all deal with aging parents. When that time comes, you'll want Jacqueline's breakthrough book by your side. Her appearance on my show generated some of the most poignant and appreciative email from our viewers, who were helped by seeing her."
- Barry Kibrick, TV Host, 'Between The Lines'

"A great read, an inspiring story and practical handbook--get it today!"
- John Kremer, '1001 Ways to Market Your Books'

"You'll learn, you'll laugh, you'll cry—what a wonderful combination of emotions—and you'll never forget this daughter's incredible journey."
- Janet Leigh, Actress

"Marcell shares incredibly useful information interspersed with many moments of humor. Her resource is down-to-earth and hopeful, with insight into the panoply of challenges involved with elder care: medical, social, financial, and emotional. In the 'How Do I Handle My Elder Loved One Who… ' section, the author dispenses wisdom on about two dozen potential situations one may encounter when caring for an elderly parent. Essential for those with aging parents. "
- Library Journal, Rob Walsh

"Bravo! An incredible learning adventure, written with humor and wit, keeping you spellbound as a riveting novel."
- Art Linkletter, Radio & Television Personality

"She stresses that when your loved one does something that strikes you as illogical or irrational--it is! That's when you seek help from specialists, as she did through the Alzheimer's Association."
- Ann Shields, Los Angeles Times

"A good read even for the physician. Jacqueline fills in the details between office visits, providing the background of love, caring, frustration and pain that can never be expressed in 20 minutes."
- Eric G. Tangalos, MD, Mayo Clinic Alzheimer's Disease Center, MN

"How did Jacqueline come up with a fun-read about such a difficult subject? Well, here it is—laughter amid the tears. And don't they always say that laughter is the best medicine of all?"
- Ed McMahon, Television Personality

"Wow, a wonderful book--the ultimate eldercare roadmap. Everyone with aging parents should be required to read it!"
- Marilyn Michaels, Comedienne

"Very highly recommended for anyone concerned about dealing with an aging parent's needs when impacted by dementia or Alzheimer's."
- Paul T. Vogel, Midwest Book Review

"Congratulations! An important subject that does not get enough attention, as more people find themselves caring for elderly parents."
- Hayley Mills, Actress

"Filled with plenty of practical advice for anyone with elderly parents. Marcell's story gives insights that are necessary and so often lacking. It's important to know where to turn when we need counsel. She's been there, and we can all learn from her experience."
- Charles S. Lauer, Publisher, Modern Healthcare Magazine

"Jacqueline has masterfully written a riveting true story, solving an issue that many adult children endure but rarely speak about so openly--and illustrates the tremendous value of Adult Day Services in improving the lives of everyone involved with caring for an elder."
- Jan Nestler, National Adult Day Services Association

"Helpful to caregivers who are encouraged that if Marcell could solve her family dilemma, they can solve theirs. You will find this book fascinating."
- National Center on Elder Abuse Newsletter

"Marcell's informative and helpful book is a valuable resource for caring for aging parents. Even if not affected by dementia, helpful hints will help improve other aspects of an aging parent's lifestyle."
- Nancy B. Leake, NonfictionReviews.com

"A great tool for people faced with caring for a loved one with Alzheimer's, and a vital tool that I will use in my support of 3000 employees and their need for direction to resources."
- Mimi A. Sackett, RN, VP, Orange County Chapter Association Occupational Health Nurses

"A godsend for anyone caring for an elderly relative."
- Marylin Hudson, Orange Coast Magazine

"A bestseller on Amazon. A combination of proper medication and behavior modification has calmed her father and launched Marcell on a national crusade to share her knowledge."
- Jane Glenn Haas, Orange County Register

"Compassionate well-informed reader-friendly resource packed with a comprehensive appendix giving readers specific guidelines through the sometimes terrifying problems of caring for a loved one with dementia."
- Christina P. O'Neill, Editor, ParentCare Magazine

"A powerful memoir. Caregivers gain insights, techniques and tips for dealing with challenges--and everyone learns from her experience. Unique for its focus on the difficult issues of identifying and dealing with various kinds of aggressive behavior that often surface with dementia."
- Partnership for Caring

"I thought I knew Jacqueline until I read her book. Wow, what a story! If you're caring for an elder, you won't believe how much this book will help you."
- Regis Philbin, 'Live With Regis & Kelly'

"Ms. Marcell has turned a tragedy into valuable guidelines for caregivers."
- Jane Powell, Actress

"Jacqueline has boldly gone where most fear to tread, dealing with the most difficult journey of caring for aging parents. The impact she makes on radio is a crucial tool for listeners--saving a lot of people a lot of pain."
- John St.Augustine, Power!Talk Radio

"While telling her story, Marcell provides tips on how to cope with elderly loved ones. This book is endorsed by many celebrities and professionals, is well written, and has an outstanding title. As the author of 113 books and over 500 magazine articles, I like this book."
- Dan Poynter, Top Reviewer for Amazon

"So helpful for dealing with difficult elders, and besides that you will have fun reading it. In some places I laughed so hard tears came to my eyes, and then Jacqueline paints such a poignant picture of true love between two people, tears came to my eyes again."
- Neal Asay, President, Retired Public Employees Association

"'Elder Rage' is a wonderful book!"
- Joan Rivers, Comedienne

"Provides great solace for anyone who has ever been through the pain of watching someone you love lose control and slowly become someone else. I have lived through this nightmare and can attest to how difficult it is. ‘Elder Rage’ is a thoughtful, personal story that will touch your heart and inspire you to keep going even in the most trying of circumstances."
- Senator John D. Rockefeller IV, WV. Blanchette Rockefeller Neurosciences Institute, dedicated to neurological disorders.

"Anyone who has been a caregiver handling health care, insurance, financial, and practical problems, on top of the emotional and mental fallout, knows what Jacqueline’s been through."
- Margaret Burk, Chairman, Round Table West

"Dementia threatens the essence of our humanity. Jacqueline chronicles her struggle to effectively change her parents' brain chemistry and improve their lives."
- Lisa Routh, MD

"This is going to be a best seller. Marcell has managed to leave me laughing when I should have been crying. She takes an uncomfortable subject and makes it fascinating and entertaining. She never loses her quick sense of humor and keeps perspective and balance when she could have lost both. I was transported back 40 years to when, like hers, my parents were young, vibrant, and the center of the universe."
- Robert Goodman, Founder, San Diego Publishers Alliance

"Jacqueline has depended on her sense of humor to get through myriad less-than-humorous situations."
- Marsha Kay Seff, Editor, San Diego Union Tribune

"There is no voice more honest and comforting than the voice of experience. This devoted daughter's hardships become blessings for those struggling to care for an elderly loved one who resists care. If this must-read compelling story helps one person reach for resources sooner than later, it will be a success."
- Linda Scheck, Alzheimer's Association of Orange County, CA

"For everyone who works in the eldercare portion of society, and for every child with an elderly parent... or for anyone approaching that milestone. I plan to encourage my adult sons to read this."
- ScribesWorld.com, review by Molly Martin

"Jacqueline has a story to tell that will engage anyone coping with the aging process in their own family."
- Senator Tom Hayden of California

"Delightfully real, often funny, with twists and turns that has you nodding in recognition, laughing, and sometimes crying. Jacqueline triumphs when she discovers that demented does not mean stupid (a concept not widely appreciated) and demonstrates there can still be a good life after dementia, when it is properly managed medically and behaviorally."
- Rodman Shankle, MS, MD, Neurologist Specialized in Dementia, Founder U.C. Irvine Alzheimer's Center

"Jacqueline illustrates that love is always the most powerful medicine."
- Dr. Bernie S. Siegel, MD, Author, “Love, Medicine & Miracles”

"Jacqueline describes the extremes that a daughter must go through to save a father with dementia. She chooses the more difficult path of staying the course, a much tougher existence than just walking away, and brings honor to her parents and moves us to a world with insight."
- Dr. Nancy L. Snyderman, MD, ABC News Correspondent

"Living with, caring for and protecting those with Alzheimer's and related dementias isn't pretty, and Marcell exposes the horrific along with the hopeful in a gutsy, riveting style that reads like a best-selling novel."
- Marie Dykes, Editor, Society of Certified Senior Advisors Journal

"Elder Rage works! First, as a riveting non-fiction novel about a daughter's unconditional love for her parents. Secondly, as an informational book on caregiving that solves the mystery of managing difficult elders. You will be helped and you will be touched by this amazing story's heart-line."
- Robert Stack, Actor

"If you're interested in happiness while caregiving--read this book!"
- Rod Steiger, Actor

"Outstanding achievement! A page-turner with delightful humor, keeping you laughing, crying, identifying, learning, and feeling very grateful she went through this so you don’t have to!"
- Connie Stevens, Actress

"Straight ahead advice and a wealth of practical information for everyone with aging parents, as well as geriatric professionals."
- Rudolph Tanzi, MD, Professor of Neurology, Harvard Medical School; Director, Genetics & Aging Research, MA General Hospital. Author, 'Decoding Darkness: The Search for the Genetic Causes of Alzheimer's Disease'

"Will ring responsive chords in family members dealing with similar situations. Two excellent appendices, one on behavioral tips for handling dementia, and a physician's guide to treating aggression in dementia, provide good practical advice."
- James J. Callahan, The Gerontologist

"The author's humor is woven with compassion about her overwhelming journey that led her to be a cheerleader for adult day services."
- The Information Source Newsletter

"The most impressive book on eldercare I have ever read. As a gerontologist, I teach 'Social Policy for the Aging Population' in the School of Social Work. I selected your book as one my students have to write a report on and will assign it as required reading. I have told gerontologists at other schools to read your book. You did a marvelous job. I cried and laughed at the same time. It is really an amazing book."
- Namkee Choi, Gerontologist, University of Texas at Austin

"In addition to being a good story and a practical guide, it's an excellent reference book. The major value for caregivers is the feeling of support that Jacqueline manages to convey."
- Eugenie Wheeler, Ventura County Star

"A must read if you have aging parents, which will help every family member deal with the process of aging."
- Steve Cochran, WGN Radio, Chicago

"Yours is a book of warning for all ages. To quote Mel Brooks, 'We must never mock the thing we are to become.' And Dylan Thomas, 'Rage rage against the dying of the light.' And now at 81 I know... and I thank you."
- James Whitmore, Actor
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"I thought I knew Jacqueline until I read her book. Wow, what a story! If you're caring for an elder, you won't believe how much this book
will help you."

-Regis Philbin
<em>Elder Rage</em> Book Cover
<em>Elder Rage</em> Book Cover
Elder Rage
Elder Care Expert Jacqueline Marcell
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Jacqueline Marcell